Fighting With Fiance Before WeddingFavorite
Your wedding is just a few short weeks away, but for the last two weeks, you and your finance have been fighting non-stop. You have been in more hour long fights over ridiculous things than you can keep count of, and this is making your questions if this is normal or is this what married life will be like and whether your relationship will make it through the long years of marriage.
Fighting With Fiance Before Wedding: Is It Normal?
The engagement period is filled with plenty of parties in your honor but also comes with a downside that no one warned you about. Snapping at each other during the bridal registry, heated arguments about the guest lists and dramatic blowouts over some of the simplest topics. Planning a wedding is a highly stressful time and can lead to tempers getting the worst of situations and a number of quarrels between you and your fiance. This is not an uncommon occurrence: Many of couples have, are and will be going through the same thing you are right now.
While the planning process can be incredibly stressful, it is also a time that you will get to know your fiance better. This will be a time where you can see just how compatible your personalities are, what beliefs and core values you each hold can either be lived with or made into deal breakers. You will need to carefully consider whether these are things you can live with or if you should be rethinking your marriage.
What Can You Do to Avoid Fighting With Fiance Before Wedding?
Plan Your Budget First
One of the main areas of fighting with your fiance before wedding is over finances. Sit down and plan out a realistic budget first and honestly discuss both of your financial situations. This will help set up grounds rules for what you will be spending on and how much you are willing and able to spend on the various details of your wedding.
Compromise on the Vision and Expectations
When you first start planning your wedding, you want to know what your partner envisions for the big day. You may have to come to a compromise on a number of the details and knowing what he or she wants will help you better come to a mutual agreement. This also includes how much help financially you are will to accept from family members.
Divide Up the Task
As a bride, it may be tempting to just suffer through all the details alone, but you both need to take on the responsibilities. Divide up the wedding task, so neither of you is overwhelmed with the planning. This will be a test of trust and will also be a great way to learn this key element that makes a marriage last.
Be Mindful How You Delegate Tasks
While you want to divide up the wedding task, do not make him take part in the details you know he could care less about. Sometimes you will just need to make the executive decision about boutonnieres and pocket protectors and move on to the next task. Sometimes it is best just to let him sit on the sidelines.
Be Assertive but Not a Bridezilla
One of the things that can lead to fighting with fiance before wedding is when you feel like you are being walked all over. If you are feeling like your family or friends are starting to walk all over all you, then be more assertive. When you are more comfortable about taking on your bride role, you will be less likely to pent up your frustrations and take them out on your fiance.
Be Careful of How You Criticize and React to Criticism from Parents or Family
Family members will commonly overstep the boundaries and this can lead to a number of fights between you and your partner, but you need to know when to vent and went to let it be. It is always best to try and discuss how you can both handle family members who seem to have an opinion about every aspect of the wedding.
Avoid Letting the Wedding Take Over Your Lives
While there will be plenty of days you have to focus on all the wedding details, you want to schedule in some days that you avoid all aspects of the wedding planning. You will both need a break once in the while to just enjoy each other without having to talk about contracts, color schemes or seating plans.
Never Forget to Put Each Other First
It can be difficult to not fall into cave in the demands of family members and the pressure from them, but do not forget your partner. Lean on one another for support and remember this day is about the two of you. Block out the negativity that may cause more fighting.
Be Grateful Towards Each other
You want to make sure you partner knows how much you appreciate all that they are doing to help with the planning. By taking the extra efforts to make sure you show your fiance gratitude and how happy you are about the life you are creating together, you will avoid a number of meaningless battles.
Sometimes You Need to Get It Out of Your System
Sometimes you need to just yell, scream and throw your hands up. Keeping all your anger and frustration pent up can just lead to even more fighting with fiance before wedding. While it is frowned upon to outsiders, sometimes you just need to let it all out so you can begin to work on a solution.
Always remember, most of the details you and your fiance end up fighting about are over silly little details. Take a breath and look at the big picture, you are preparing for the happiest day of your life, the little details have little to do with your future together.