7 Years Still No Proposal? What Should You Do?Favorite
You know you’ve found the one, you have plenty in common, his family adores you and everything is just perfect, maybe too good to be true? For the past 7 or 8 years, you have barely been together, but where is the relationship going? You are ready to move the relationship forward, but he doesn’t seem to be giving the idea of marriage much thought. With 7 years still no proposal, you may be wondering just what you should do. That’s the tricky topic we’re covering today!
Is He Ready to Marry You?
Signs of “Yes”
When your significant other is ready to pop the question, there are a number of little signs that could give you an indication that he might be planning a proposal in the near future.
He lets you know you’re the only one who made him feel, act or want certain things.
You attend all his family get together’s big or small.
He refers to you as a part of his team.
Most of his friends are already married.
He’s more touchy feel.
You have discussed living together.
You’ve discussed sharing more of your finances, space or purchasing a pet.
He is acting like you guys did when you first starting dating, more giddy and excited.
He never uses words that imply he is being caged like you’re uptight, bossy or controlling.
He drops hints about a future family with you.
Signs of “No” or “Never”
Unfortunately, some people are just not interested in the married life and just like there are clear signs that your significant other may be getting ready for the next step, there are also clear signs that marriage is not in your future.
He only makes plans for the short term, getting him to plan a distant vacation for the next year is always met with hesitation or excuses.
He doesn’t praise you or raves about you to his friends. If his friends constantly use the praise “he never told us how (insert compliment) you are”, after 7 years still no proposal, his friends should know a great deal more about you.
He tries to change, distract or remove you from any discussion of marriage or children when the topic comes up.
He tries to buy time by using excuses of stress to avoid talking about marriage with you.
If he openly tells you he likes the way things are, he has no intention of taking the next step.
He tries to divert your attention when any serious topics come up.
He compliments you but keeps himself out of the equation by not saying how lucky he is to have you.
How to Get Him to Proposal Ready
Casually Drop Some Hints
You don’t want to overwhelm your significant other but you can casually bring up the subject of marriage without directly referring to your marriage. Start off by bringing up someone else’s engagement or wedding, either a co-worker, friend or even a commercial engagement/wedding, then comment on something you like or didn’t like. The key is in the subtleness and you can either ask his opinion on it or state how would you do something different. This is great to talk about the type of ring you’d like and the type of wedding, since these are two big expenses your significant other may be postponing the proposal because the expenses may be intimidating him.
Show Your Wife Material
Aside from dropping subtle hints, you’ll want him to be able to see your wife material. Show him you can cook, take care of him when he’s sick as well as be able to handle yourself on your own. If you have the feeling that he might just be waiting for the perfect time, and after 7 years still no proposal, he might just need some help with the setting, so plan a romantic trip. Plan the trip at least 3 months away so he can have some time to figure out on his own that the trip could be the perfect time to finally pop the question.
Spend More Time with Married Couples
Getting your significant other out with some of your married friends or spending some time around the holidays with your married friends can be a really good thing. This can help him see how happy and appealing married life can be, which can help him feel more secure with the idea and eliminate his fears.
Get to Know Each Other’s Family
You both will need to get along with each other’s family so increase the time he spends with yours and you with his the better. Take the time to get to know his family and let him become more comfortable around yours.
Discuss the Bigger Future Plans
Whether it's buying a house, dog or making a big investment together, making long term plans for your future together is a clear indication that marriage is in the future as well. These big plans for the future reassure that he sees a long term future with you.
Help Him Realize How Much He Needs You
You want him to feel like he can always rely on you and be there to support, help and offer advice when needed. You want him to realize how much better you make him and that he does rely on your support and opinions.
You want to ensure you still have your own life apart from him, so don’t neglect your friends or own goals. Giving him the impression that you can live your own life without him could be just what he needs to go from 7 years still no proposal to realizing he wants to ensure you are a part of his future.
Show Him Your Value
While you don’t want to make him feel insecure, you also don’t want him to take you for granted. Keeping a few friend of the opposite sex can be the thing that makes him realize he doesn’t want to lose you to any competition.
Talk with Him Directly
Sometimes subtleness is not going to do you much good, especially if you have a feeling he has some fears about getting married like the expenses, having to start a family right away or simply losing the spark in your relationship. Address the fears he may have and be able to come up with some compromises to relieve him of them, if he is more of the logical thinker, you’ll have to come up with some key points that will appeal to his way of thinking.
Be Bold and Direct
When all else fails you’ll need to be a little bold. If he is really unsure about wanting to marry you, then give him the time he needs to think it over, but let him know that you have your own limits and that you won’t wait around forever. You can also just take the lead yourself and propose to him. If you’re thinking that the 7 years still no proposal is due to the fact that you significant other is being held back because of the actual proposal and not the idea of marriage, ask him instead.