Writing Your Own Vows: the Essentials


Writing your own vows is the most exciting part of getting married as it is an ideal opportunity to sum up your relationship. However, the pressure of writing just the perfect words can be really intimidating. But don’t worry, as we present to you a quick and complete guide that will give you writing tips, ideas and examples which will help you to express your feelings in the most beautiful way. So, let’s get started.

How to Write Your Own Vows


Outline Your Vows

It is very important that you sit down with your partner to discuss about the vows. To start with, you need to outline a structure of the vows which should include a couple of things such as the tone of the things you will include in the vows. Also, don’t forget the length (in words as well as minutes) and how you will close the vow. The vows should mainly focus on both of you and should include glimpses of your story. Basically, having a structure for your vows will help you to draft everything nicely.


Look for Ideas

Your wedding vows will mostly depend on the kind of wedding you’re having. For example, a traditional wedding, modern or a kind of wedding which will need specially written vows to go with the entire theme. You can work with your wedding planner or call your local authorities to find out what kind of wedding vows they have. There are many choices from a wide range of wedding vows, such as religious, poetry, speeches or even quotes from novels. Gather all your ideas to ensure that they act as a foundation for writing your own vows. Click HERE to get inspired. 


Talk About Your Relationship

Your vows should focus on your relationship. They should basically reflect the journey of you and your partner. The most beautiful aspect of your vows will be that you and your partner will be looking back at all the things about your relationship. To do so, you can take a quick trip to all the places you’ve been together to relive the memories or remember the special things you’ve done for each other.


Write Vows

After you have outlined a basic structure for your vows and gathered all the ideas, all you need to do is to put them together. Begin with how you will start your vows, what moments you will cover in the middle of the vows and how you will conclude your vows. Also, don’t forget to highlight what’s best about your relationship. Make sure that you give your partner a reason to stay in love forever. Thus, end on a good note that is full of promises.


Pay Attention to Details

After drafting and writing the vows, you must pay attention to the details. These details should actually emphasize many reasons both of you have decided to get married. For example, how the events of your life lead you to decide to get married or the qualities that you love about your spouse. You can also express to your partner that you will improve yourself and make this relationship even better with time. Paying attention to details while writing your own vows does not mean that you highlight only the good things, it is about you celebrating your relationship and showing that you can improve.


Practice a Lot

Since you are going to speak your vows on your wedding day, it is important to practice a lot. Remember the tone both of you agreed upon and practice daily on the quality and pitch of the vows. Practicing daily will help you a lot as you will be able to speak confidently and comfortably without any lags. Practicing by saying your vows out loud will also help you to curb whatever is irrelevant and make changes if required. Therefore, don’t ignore the practice part once you have drafted your vows.


There Can Be Changes

Most people get emotional while speaking vows. Therefore, just remember that whatever happens, it is absolutely normal. You and your partner wrote the vows and it reflects how beautiful your relationship is. So, if you get conscious, nervous or emotional, it is fine as the ceremony is about celebrating your togetherness. Just remember that this day is yours and whatever you or your partner say for each other is not meant for others. Try to enjoy your wedding ceremony, especially your vows.


Don’t Stretch Your Vows

Your vows are definitely important and that’s why they should be meaningful and kept precise. Don’t make it a long speech or go over and over on certain points. The vows part of the ceremony is the most crucial and you can make a huge impact by not stretching your vows unnecessarily. This is why, it is important to practice after you are done writing your own vows. After all, the wise selection of words and correct timing will make the occasion worth cherishing.


Questions to Ask to Help You Write Your Own Vows

Below we have mentioned a couple of questions that can help you write the vows easily and you can write these points into your vows. Take a look at them before you get started:

  • When did you come to know that you were in love?

  • Why are you getting married?

  • What rough times you both have faced together?

  • How have you supported each other throughout the bad times?

  • What have you both accomplished and what you want to accomplish in future?

  • What qualities you love about your partner and why?

  • How does your partner inspire you to be a better person?

  • How does their absence affect you?

  • How your life has become better after being together?

With these points in your vows, it will be clear and great vows that only belong to you two. You can also click HERE to learn more about writing personalized vows.


Final Words

Writing your own vows is the best time to reminisce your relationship during the wedding ceremony. It not only takes you back in the time, but also refreshes every memory that made you two as one. Having personalized vows is the best way to add colors and emotions to your ceremony. So, whether you decide for a very private ceremony or a large affair, don’t forget to pay attention to your vows.