Wedding Thank You Etiquette 101


All the presents you will receive once you’re engaged are crazy. Engagement, hen do and showers and of course, your wedding gifts! This is an amazing time for you and your partner.

Saying thank you to your loved ones is your utmost importance. They have been there to share your lovely journey and have helped you along the way. They were there to share the most wonderful day of your life and will be there to help you and your partner start planning your life as a married couple. The thank you notes are a gesture to say thank you for their help and support, as well as the wedding gift to you.

When to Send the Wedding Thank You Card

Wedding thank you etiquette rule number one, do not send your thank you card too late. They can be taken care of when you return from your honeymoon, when you come back to all of your magnificent wedding gifts. Thank you messages for your gifts are usually sent out around two or three weeks after your wedding, but it’s entirely up to you on the time frame. If you do receive the odd gift before your actual wedding day, of course, you can send out their personal thank you message and then you can tick them off your checklist. All the other remaining thank you cards can be sent out up to three months after your wedding day but the earlier the better.

Who Needs a Wedding Thank You Card

A thank you card should be sent to everyone who gives a gift, attending the wedding or not. To keep track of all your gifts, write down all your family and friends names and what gift you received from them in a notebook, on your laptop, tablet or a computer. In this way, you will know what gift came from who and who to thank. You can also add a note to track the date you sent out the thank you cards. Another reason why you need to keep track of the wedding gift is to add a special note to the wedding thank you card, which will relate to the gift you received from that person. It’s more personalized which makes it more special.

Who Writes the Thank You Note - Bride or Groom or Both

To follow wedding thank you etiquette rules, both bride and groom should sign the thank you note, so it’s better you could write the notes together. It’s important to make the notes personalized and special to your family and friends. If you have received so many gifts, you could split the responsibility with your partner. They could write the thank you messages from his friends and family and you can write to those guests you know better, but remember to sign each message as a couple. If you’re ordering the stationery, you could add both names to save time.

What Stationery Should be Used

When writing your thank you cards or messages, you can use the same stationery you used for your wedding invitations to keep the same flowing design. Try to include your personalized monogram if you used one on your invitations. If you do send pre-wedding thank you messages, use your maiden name, this will change after your wedding day, that’s if you decide on changing any names. If using the same stationery as your wedding invitations is not an option, you can find something similar or use plain white or ivory paper. If you are hand-writing your messages, use either blue or black ink.

What to Write in Your Wedding Thank You Note

Try not to think about the wording too much, it must come from your heart. You could include a photograph from your wedding, if the prints are ready within a few weeks from your wedding photographer, but don’t delay in sending out the thank you cards if you haven’t received the photos in time.

Make sure you make every message sincere and personal. You can include a little message about the gift you received and what you intend on doing with it. If you are not too keen on a gift you’ve received, here is the wedding thank you etiquette you need to follow: you still must send a thank you message and don’t mention that you’ve planning on retuning the gift, just say thank you. Here are a few examples for gift related messages:

“Thank you for your generous gift! We are saving to buy a house, and you have helped bring us nearer to that goal."

“Thank you very much for the china place setting! …. And I will think of you both every time we use it. We hope you’ll be our dinner guests soon.”

“We appreciate your lovely gift, John and I decide to put it in our bedroom. It will remind us of you every time we look at it. You being in our wedding means a lot to both of us, we’ll see each other soon after we get back from the honeymoon trip.”