How to Politely Ask for Money Instead of Gifts


The wedding gift is a time honored tradition and can really help with getting started in your new life. More and more newlyweds are asking guests for money contributions instead of purchased gifts. But asking for money can seem awkward, and you may want to know how to politely and tactifully do that. Here are some great ideas to take out the awkward feel and make this a comfortable request.

How to Politely Ask for Money Instead of Gifts

It has long been a common tradition to buy a pre-chosen gift off a registry. In more recent times however, couples may live together in the same home for some time before the wedding. They may have all their necessary household items already in place. With this in mind, it’s unnecessary to have the same set of items. Still, couples want to know how to ask for money politely. Here are some ideas on how to do this:

Have friends and family “spread the word”

Just let a few close friends and family know your gift preference and have them let others know for you. When wedding guests inquire about what you need, they can just let them know you prefer monetary gifts. Keep in mind that you should still register for some items in case guests want to purchase a gift for you.


Wedding wishing well

Set up a “wedding wishing well” or special box for guests to place cards and monetary gifts. There are a few ways you can notify your guests that you will be doing this. You can print some cute announcements on a separate insert in the invitation. Some sample sayings are:

Sample 1:

“We have our towels and dishes for two

We have pans, bowls, and oven mitts too

So what do you get for a bride and groom

That has enough in every room

We would love a gift that helps us grow

To make it easy for all to know

We will have a wishing well at the hall

To receive blessing gifts with love from all”

Sample 2:

“We have a wishing well today with envelopes for you

Make a wish for us and drop it in the well.

This token will be welcomed with love to help our dreams come true.”


Use “Flat Gifts Preferred”

A popular and elegant new way of asking for money is to use the term, “flat gifts preferred” on an insert in the invitation. You can also say, “no boxed gifts please.” These are indirect ways of letting your guests know that you would prefer money.

Remember: Don’t print money requests or registries directly on your invitations. Use an insert card.


Use your wedding website

How to politely ask for money instead of gifts? If you have a wedding website, you can make the announcement there. Let guests know that you would like a monetary gift to help you set up your new life, go on a honeymoon, or work towards buying a house. It is always proper to list the things you will be doing with the money.


Cash Registries

Just like registering for household items, you can use an online cash registry. Use a reputable registry and make sure you let your guests know what the money will be used for. You can send the link via email, put it on your website, or social media. Just don’t print it on your invitation. A few cash registries include:


This is an online wedding registry that you can register for cash, honeymoon funds, home improvement funds, or a down payment for a house. This is the increasingly popular “crowdfunding” and can make gifting very easy for your guests. The great news is Honeyfund is completely free to both you and your wedding guests. If you choose to use PayPal, there is a small fee for the transfer.


Tendr is a popular service that you set up your own wedding page and register for cash gifts. Your guests can also send you cards with their gift online. This service is free for your guests to send you a gift and you pay a 5% service fee for the account.


This is a full service wedding registry where you can register for cash and many other great gift giving ideas. There is a “green registry,” a “charity registry,” a “honeymoon registry,” and they can send any monetary gifts straight into your bank account.


Assign “Gift Information” Duty to One of Your Attendants

How to politely ask for money instead of gifts? Bridesmaids and ushers do get some duties to help with the wedding. You could assign one or two of your attendants to help get the word out to the guests. This takes the awkwardness of yourself and makes your attendants feel included.

Tips for Money Gifts

Make sure your guests remember to make checks out to either the bride or the groom and use the bride’s maiden name. Brides usually take some time to change their name and using their married name may make the check un-cashable. Also, some brides these days choose not to change their name at all.

Give one of your attendants the responsibility of keeping cards, envelopes, and cash gifts. This is usually done by the best man.

Interesting History of Wedding Gifts

Wedding gifts date back as far as the year 3,000 B.C. It was a price the bride’s family paid to the groom and his family for him to marry her. The gifts of course, were in accordance with how people survived in those days. They consisted of land to live on, animals for food, and money to get the couple started.

A few thousand years later, wedding gifts were given in chests. This was the precursor of the “hope chest.” They contained all the things they needed to start their home such as linens, china, and other household items.

The first gift registry for household items was started in the more recent year, 1924. Brides could choose their china patterns, silverware, and crystal.