How to Choose Best Man


For the groom, it may seem like choosing the best man is a fairly simple choice. You can ask your brother or the best friend you've known since primary school. But, you may want to take into consideration a few other things besides them being a good friend or part of your family. Here you will get some advice about it.

How to Choose Best Man

Typically, the best man will be a male relative or a close friend of the groom's. Other grooms may ask the significant other of one of the bridesmaids if they have spent a lot of time together. But, can they handle all the duties that come along with being the best man? Know your best man's duties before making a quick decision!

  • The most important job for the best man is to keep the wedding rings safe and present them during the ceremony when the moment arises.

  • He will be in charge of planning the bachelor party as well as making your guys back home in one piece. He needs to be someone you can trust to accomplish this. He will also be the one who assists you in choosing a gift to your bride.

  • Your best man is also the one who needs to keep you on schedule and make sure you are prepared on your wedding day. He will also help you stay calm until the "I dos". He will also be the one who holds onto the marriage license for you, keeping it safe and secure until the wedding day.

  • He will also be expected to make a speech or two, one at the rehearsal dinner and one at the reception. This can be a major concern in how to choose best man if the person you have in mind may not be good at public speaking.

  • Once the ceremony is completed, he will be the one who makes sure all the guests make it to the reception. He will also be the one who hands out payments on your behalf to the chauffeurs, photographer, celebrant, band, caterer and others.

With all these responsibilities, you want to make sure you ask someone who has some key characteristics. Your best man should not only be reliable, responsible and trustworthy, but also friendly and outgoing. If it is someone most of your other friends and family already know, this can be highly beneficial. It is preferable you ask someone who lives in the same city as your best man and is not consumed with work or family life to take on this responsibility. And finally, your best man should be someone your fiancée approves of.

What If You Meet the Following Problems?

What if the duties are too much for my best man?

While brides will focus more on the reliability factors, most grooms tend to always choose their lifelong best friends for the role. But, remember "how do you choose best man" will be based on if they can handle all the responsibilities or not. While most of the responsibilities are not that complex, if you know your best man can't handle one of his duties or jobs, you'd better delegate to another groomsman.

What if you have two friends equally qualified for the role?

To make things simple, if you have a brother then this is not an issue. If you don't have a brother and don't want to cause a rift, then make both friends be your best man. You can divide up the task, putting one in charge of the bachelor party and the other of the rings and allowing both to make speeches. This works with two brothers as well. If you are sticking with tradition, however, then go with the one you have known longer.

What if I'm not close with my brother?

Relax! While the best man's role carries many responsibilities, you might just want to ask your brother to keep the peace among your close friends. You can ask all your friends to do a majority of more important details.

How to choose best man if your best friend is a female?

Many brides and grooms are choosing to have female groom's men and male bridesmaids in their bridal party and if everyone is comfortable with this, then ask her to be your best man. But, talk it out with your fiancée first. Your best friend and fiancée have probably formed a close friendship as well and your fiancée may already be thinking of including her in as one of her own bridesmaids.