Family Pressure to Get Married: How to Effectively Cope with It


Often times, family pressure can really impact our major decisions in life. When it comes to marriage, you'll have to take a second thought. Don't rush into marriage just because your family want you to. As the famous saying goes, "It’s better to walk alone than with a crowd going in the wrong direction. "Do what you feel is right. Not sure how to manage family pressure to get married? Below are some handy tips for you.

Why Do Parents Pressure Children to Get Married?

All cultures are diverse, however, parents in every culture tend to pressure their children to get married. And they've got their reasons.

For instance, in a study entitled “Congo:Responsibility and Cultures of the World”, it is said that the Congo do not have a concept of eternal death. Instead, they believe that the dead live in valleys, roots of trees and sources of rivers. In time, their loved ones will return to their bodily form as newborns, with grandparents being reincarnated in the body of their grandsons. So basically, family pressure to get married comes from the local’s desire to continue their family line.

While these traditions may not apply to every society, we cannot deny the fact that the continuation of one’s family line is a huge factor in familial pressure regarding marriage in most cultures. But aside from this, other aspects like the couple’s age and the desire of parents to take care of their future grandchildren while they are still capable to are also considered as significant determining factors.

Should I Give in to the Pressure and Get Married?

You are allergic to family reunions because of that family pressure to get married, you feel you could not handle it anymore and want to give in. But, hey, it's just a start. After the wedding, your family might pressure you into having baby no. 1, baby no. 2 and so on. No matter how you look at it, there will always be something that your family and your society would pressure you to do. So a piece of advice, dear. Don’t give in to the pressure. 

Getting married is a new phase in our life—a new milestone that we have to accept wholeheartedly. And other than the emotional connection, there are a list of questions you need to ask yourself:

  • Are both of you ready? 

  • Are you capable of supporting each other emotionally, financially and mentally? 

  • Are you willing to make your relationship work no matter how ugly it gets? 

When it comes to getting married, you always have to apply the “no return, no exchange” policy. If you are marching down the aisle without really thinking 100 steps ahead, then it may not be the best time for you to say your “I do”.

So don't give in to family pressure to get married. There are so many couples out there who file for a divorce after just a few years of marriage because of incompatibility not only in the bedroom, but also in terms of handling emotions and finances. To avoid this kind of disasters, you have to take it slow and make rational decisions.

How to Handle the Pressure?

You might try to avoid seeing your families or taking their phone calls, yet you find that you just can’t take that family pressure to get married out of the picture no matter how hard you try. Sometimes it just make things worse. 

When your family start asking questions about your marriage plans, if  joking around does not work, you can try to:

  • Speak up your thought.Tell them you are confident with your relationship, but you want to take things one step at a time.

  • Reach out to them and help them to understand that you'll be happier doing things your way.

  • Ask them questions and help them to ease their concerns. 

After all, you are family. At the end of the day, they will always be supportive of your decisions.