Take It Easy: Cold Feet Before Marriage


It’s only days before your wedding, but suddenly it feels like years. You’re gripped with an intense fear as you start realizing the gravity and impact this new milestone in your life will be. Hesitation runs in your veins despite what you think, know, feel, and believe about your impending union. Does this scenario sound familiar? Then you must be having cold feet before marriage. Before you panic and give in to the terror-stricken thoughts you have, remember to take it easy, breathe deeply, and read through this special guide to help you go through the pre-wedding blues!

Why Am I Having Cold Feet?

First of all, you should relax, because you are definitely not alone. Millions of brides and grooms are gripped with cold feet before marriage – even moments before the ceremony! Here are some specific reasons why you might be thinking about cancelling the big day.

The wedding planning stress

It might not even be about your relationship, but just the event itself! Huge events are difficult to plan, and the magnitude of the work to be done is sometimes more than enough for a couple who just got hitched in the city hall and received the papers. Keep yourself in check – you might just be giving up on the special and tiring day, and don’t give up on your relationship just yet because of the stress!

Doubts about your partner

This is a very common reason as to why you could be holding back on this wedding. No one can ever tell you if you’re ready to get married, or if your betrothed is really the one meant for you. The pressure applied by the severity of marriage could also be pressing down on you. Be careful and think everything through before you make rash decisions.

Sudden loss of interest in sex

No matter how much you loved sex, nothing can prevent you from feeling a little tied up when you are caught up in the planning phase of your wedding. The cold feet before marriage can manifest in irritable behavior, short temper, and loss of desire to get frisky. There’s no need to be alarmed because sex has nothing to do with love. While definitely an integral part of marriage, you will have to wait until your honeymoon for things to go back to normal!

What your family and friends think

Since you have said yes to the engagement, your relationship must be relatively solid. What might not be too hot are the opinions of your loved ones. If you feel the pressure from friends and family, remember that it’s your wedding and life, not theirs. What they have to say will be very important, but take these with a grain of salt and you can do your own evaluation. Talk to your partner without bringing those loved ones up. Doubts coming from people who genuinely care about you are normal!

Anxiety over readiness and commitment

This area pertains to your own self development and growth. If you are feeling doubt in yourself, you should accept that you should look at your own individual happiness and well-being before making any more decisions.

What Should I Do

Take a break

Cold feet before marriage is caused by some kind of stress or another. Until you figure out where that stress is coming from, it’s best not to hover your hand over the “cancel” button. Take an entire spa day out to massage and scrub all the toxic substances your body has accumulated from the hard work you are putting in!

Sweat it out

This does not just pertain to exercise or physical activity. While exercise is an excellent way to stay fit in mind and body, don’t forget that it’s also an excellent distraction that can improve your mood and clarify your thoughts.

Talk to yourself

Even if you feel silly, or even if you believe overthinking will do you no good, hold a conversation with yourself. Be honest and plainly talk yourself through the questions running in your head. Realizing more about yourself in the situation will help you cope with the changes.

Talk to your partner

Don’t be ashamed to bring up the difficult things within your heart to him or her. Take a super romantic night out to remind you of the good old days and the reasons you chose him or her. If you keep too many things to yourself, you might explode with secrets and sow seeds of wrath that will negatively affect your future.

Talk to a third party loved one

You should also talk to someone who is a third party in the relationship. While they probably will never really know what your relationship is like, they have other experiences that will prove valuable for someone afflicted with cold feet before marriage. Affirmation and discussion points are importantly seen from a point of view of differing perspectives.