Go or No? What to Do If You Are Calling Off an Engagement


Being engaged is one of the most exciting and crucial parts of being a couple. You know you are not kids anymore, just playing around and dating, but are mature couples that are on their way to spending their lives together forever. However, no matter how exhilarating an engaged couple could be, amidst all the wedding planning, some couples tend to think deeper about the relationship they are in. This is the time in which they truly ask themselves if their partner is the one or if they are willing to spend forever with them. If you have doubts, is calling off the engagement a better way to go?

Reasons to Call Off an Engagement

1. Love is not the motivation

Obviously love should be the motivation for a couple to get married, but is it really love that drives you to marry your partner? Some people want to get married because they feel they are old, some are afraid of being alone, and some is just tired of being nagged by relatives! Forever is a long time, so make sure that love is what drives you and your partner together.

2. Excuses

If you have plenty of excuses about your wedding date, maybe there is a deeper reason. Wrong venue? Wrong year? Wrong age, time or season? Whatever it is, if it seems like you’re always pushing or delaying your wedding, it’s pretty sure that you have doubts. Calling off an engagement is a better choice rather than beating around the bush.

3. You’re looking for an approval

Some couple may not notice, because this doubt is very subtle: If you keep asking for approval from others about your decision of being engaged, or if you are always convincing yourself that you made the right choice, chances are that you are really not sure about what you’re doing. Pause and think things through before moving forward.

4. You’re getting weaker

Being engaged should be exciting and thrilling! But if it causes you stress, fatigue and negativity rather than happiness, maybe you should stop. Yes, planning a wedding could be tiring but if your weakness is coming from somewhere else like doubts, fears, or red flags from your partner, maybe this is more than cold feet and maybe you shouldn’t push through.

5. Red flags!

Don’t blame yourself, if you haven’t seen red flags of partner before you were engaged. Some people do show their true colors if they are put under pressure (like planning a wedding). If you see different behaviours that you haven’t seen before from your partner, or even if your friends have some concern about your partner, you will have a good reason to call it off.

How to Tell Him or Her You Want to Call Off the Engagement

Now that you’ve decided that calling of the engagement is the best choice for both of you, here are some tips on how to break the news.

1. Leave a note

Leaving a note can be a great way if you are not good with confrontations. Write a letter and later set up a meeting to finalize everything and talk things through. Hopefully you’ll end in good terms.

2. One on one time

Have a one on one with your partner at home or outside, or even a small dinner, and tell him or her about your feelings. It will be difficult, but it would be best to tell the bad news straight up rather than with? an informal text or call. Explain your side and afterwards listen, so you’ll deal with it properly.

3. Apologize

Be the bigger person and apologize. Saying goodbye and calling off an engagement is not easy and will hurt both of you, the least you could do is to tell them you’re sorry. Even if it’s just a change of heart or you’ve fallen in love with someone else, your partner will still appreciate it if you say sorry and own up to your decision (or mistake).

4. Pour your heart out

Be honest with your partner and pour everything out. If you’re going to leave, just tell the truth and don’t lie. Did you cheat? Did you get tired? Whatever it is, don’t hold back and just pour your heart out, so your partner knows the real reason. Don’t keep your partner guessing for the rest of his/her life.

5. Be understanding

Once you break the news that you’re calling off the engagement, your partner might get mad. Instead of being rude and go to a scream fight, choose to understand and be nice, because your sudden decision is probably not easy for your partner to take in.

Then What Should You Do?

Q. What happens with the engagement ring?

A. Calling off an engagement is not done with just letting your partner know it; there are other things you need to consider. For example: the engagement ring. It’s best to give back the engagement ring to your fiancé. Although it may be hard, it will help both of you to move on and put the thing in the past. Being engaged is not an easy time and to call it off is harder, so it’s best that you are not reminded of this painful decision with ting?.

Q. How do we let everyone know the wedding will not push through?

A. It will be difficult but there are many ways to let everyone know that you are calling off the engagement. First, you can send a note to everyone who knows the engagement that the wedding will not push through. No long explanation, just a plain note to say that the wedding is off.

Second, you can also call everyone on your invitation list to let them know that you’re not going through with the wedding. If you cannot do it on your own, ask one of your friends or family member to do it for you. It will be hard for you and your partner, so it would be better if someone does it for you.

Q. What if the guests already made travel arrangements?

A. Just be honest with your guests and explain that you’re calling off the engagement. Suggest that they can use the flight on another errand or their personal vacation. It will be inconvenient and painful, but once you’ve tell them, it’s done.

Q. What should I do with the dress?

A. Either you keep it or return it to the store. Some choose to keep it and that’s totally fine. You don’t have to look at it every day or sleep with it, just keep it to your closet and maybe someday you’ll be able to use it.

If you choose to return the dress, just call your store. You’ll be surprised that many other people do the same thing. You don’t have to be ashamed or feel awkward because it’s totally normal. After you call your store, just make an appointment and set the arrangements regarding the payment.

There are plenty of things to cover, but hopefully this will shed a little light on the things that you need to know after calling off an engagement.